Does the world revolve around me? In my exhaustion, I answer yes, thinking of (what we would call) the practicalities of life--the bills, the meals, the laundry, the soap scum thriving on my shower door--will I ever catch up on the everyday tasks that others seem to check off their lists so easily? Not as long as they are truly "everyday" tasks, methinks. OH, woe is me!
And what in me espouses terror? Quite simply, it is the idea of facing the unholy imperfections which I so feverishly bury, whether I know it or not, more and more deeply under the tissue-paper-thin skin of righteousness that I often feel, whether I know it or not, is better than everyone else's sturdy two-ply. How can God be pleased with me? How can He use me? My physical life, filled to the brim with "practicalities," is too much in the way these days of my spiritual one...
But this is precisely the reason I am also excited. It's that crazy, only-because-God-decides-this-is-what-He-wants-to-do-and-for-no-other-reason fact that this shriveled skin I'm dying in is looked upon by the God of the universe as worthy of saving, worthy of time and effort to nurture, cajole, straight-up slap into change toward a beautiful bride, a holy temple. There are dozens of programs that attempt to teach self-esteem; what resources could be saved by simply explaining the word for which there is no other: grace. Grace is humbling, grace is exciting. I am changing by His grace, and by that alone.
Yet in spite of this, I am cautious too. Oh, how caution smacks of doubt!--doubt that God is who He says He is, doubt that perfection is demanded of me, doubt that I can be so much more than what I am right now. Oh, woe is me indeed, should I continue in such cautiousness! Comfort is no by-product of righteousness: comfort is complacency; comfort is sin. To run with abandon to that free gift of grace--that is my desire, and praise be to Him that, there in His arms, in place of mere comfort we are given munificent, permanent rest: Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest! (Heb. 4:11)
How many times can I quote a single passage on this blog? Apparently not enough... I am thrown once again to 2 Peter 1:3-8:
His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. [Praise God that beyond the exhaustion I feel, I am given everything I need for life and godliness!]
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Happy Election season!
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