His Grace is Real

Living life is such a tedious task when it is not consistently lived in light of God's purpose. Being away from real, almost tangible intimacy with God has been disheartening. One even starts to wonder if it might ever be found again, or if the memory of such intimacy is no memory at all.
The trick is to keep searching for it. Even when we don't feel like it, even when we think we're just going through the motions, we keep at it, and--BOOM--we're in the presence of God; our flesh is drowning in the Spirit; we no longer exist as ordinary persons living ordinary lives. Instead, we are God's children, we are small and cradled in His hands, a broken heap of humanity lifted high to His throne--indeed, to His very lips.
And this is how I know God's grace is real, that He is long-suffering and graciously desirous of my obedience. Because He has chosen to reveal Himself to me, I am all the more desirous to obey, to be made holy by the One who IS holiness!

Psalm 51:1-17

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your steadfast love;
according to your abundant mercy
blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
and cleanse me from my sin!

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is ever before me.
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.

Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.
Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God,
O God of my salvation,
and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness.
O Lord, open my lips,
and my mouth will declare your praise.
For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it;
you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.